Fading Bloom
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: They both had found themselves in the need for escapism. "They would attempt to not think about the two people that were the very reason for their miserable on-going affair."
1. Chapter 1

This is another one of my experimental pairings, please let me know what you think by reviewing :)

Sara/Vartann one-shot.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Fading Bloom**

He poured her a drink- the trickling of bourbon into the glass was the only sound in the room. She sat on the sofa with her hands clasped together on her lap and her eyes fixed on the floor.

They had gotten used to the deafening silence that lingered between them during these encounters.

Her dark eyes were always clouded over and focused on the ground hardly meeting his out of shame. They both felt ashamed for what they were doing and for all the things that they had done but every time they promised it would stop they would find themselves back in the same place dancing to the very same tune.

She took the glass he was offering her giving him an appreciative glance. He simply nodded and sat himself down next to her his vision focused on the wall ahead of him. They had developed a routine- meet in a bar, share a few drinks, make it back to his and share one more drink for courage.

Tonight was no different. It was just like another one of their many liaisons.

She finished her whiskey, the taste close to fire in her mouth and placed the glass down on the coffee table. She took a deep breath in attempt to stop the anxiety she usually felt when it finally came down to it. He placed his empty glass down beside hers and turned to woman next to him. Her hair fell in soft ink black curls to her shoulders, a glossy lip tint painted on enticing him further. She wore barely any make up, he had noticed over their meetings, her pretty features, seductive dark eyes and husky voice were alluring enough by themselves without the need for painting up. He hadn't noticed her at first- not really. His mind had acknowledged she was beautiful but then simply left it at that. But with every one of their encounters he had started to fully appreciate her physical chattels.

He had a feeling that desire for him was not why she had chosen to come to him. He was so different from her husband in almost every way. Her husband still had boyish features and shadows of youth even in his fifties. He on the other hand had features that wore lines like a display of all the emotions he had felt over the years. His eyes lacked the same sparkle as her husband having developed a silhouette of helplessness.

He would think of the physical attraction between the two of them always coming to the conclusion that they did not fit together.

His tired blue eyes surveyed her as her shivering hands began unbuttoning her silk blouse. He could feel the longing aching in his bones as she revealed more of her milky skin. He used a hand to cup her chin and pull her into a kiss- the rough feeling of his hand against the soft skin of her neck caused her heart rate to double. Their kiss slow, sweet and sorrowful.

They had done this many times before but each time they would face the same conflicts.

The same nagging feeling telling them that they needed to stop but they never did knowing that they had found an ideal distraction in each other.

As they indulged in discovering each other's bodies for the first time since the last time they would push aside the reason they had been driven to each other.

She would focus on the feeling of his hands searching her body as if looking for answers rather than thinking about the ever growing distance between her and her husband. She would run her fingers through his short dark hair while feeling her marriage slip from in-between the gaps. She would let his taut, muscular frame pin her down unlike her husband's ability to pin down her needs.

He would focus on exposing her naked body to his eyes rather than seeing what was really happening to him and his legitimate lover. He would plant kisses on spots that made her whimper because he preferred listening to that rather than the truth about his girlfriend's lack of faith in their relationship. He would tease her till she pleaded just to feel wanted unlike the way his girlfriend just made him feel used.

She would usually attempt to fight off the solitude she felt from being away from the home she had built by her husband's side.

He would attempt to battle the increasing longing he had for something concrete with a woman that seemed persistent in turning him away when it came to his feelings.

They would attempt to not think about the two people that were the very reason for their miserable on-going affair.

They would let themselves become a tangled mess emotions as they attempted to lose themselves in something that was never meant to be. That never should have been.

Both would wonder why they had chosen the other to be their escape.

She would wonder why him. She could have chosen Greg Sanders- who still looked at her if she were the only woman in the room. But she cared far too much for him to be able to use him in this way. She could have chosen Nick Stokes- who cared for her so much that it hurt sometimes. But losing his respect was not worth the risk she had decided. The man she was here with was different. She didn't know him- not really. He was like a perfect stranger.

He would wonder why her. He could have simply just gone to a bar and picked anyone up- he had never had problems with women. But he realised that it would involve using someone else in the way he was being used himself.

In the end it didn't matter why they had chosen each other. Because all the wanted to was to escape.

In this arrangement they used each other in exactly the same way.


	2. Chapter 2

This was initially a one-shot but I was really pleased with the way it turned out and I feel a bit more could be done with this.

Please review!

**Fading Forever **

Sara sat on the edge of the king sized bed as far away from her snoring husband as she could be. Her head in her hands as she attempted to brush aside all the negative feelings that had flooded her body overwhelming her senses.

She loosened the knot on her robe attempting to reduce the tension in her lower abdomen. She felt sick. Before her husband had returned she had attempted to wash all traces of her lover from her body but soap did not empty the mind. She thought about their last encounter. It had been less than twenty four hours ago. He'd been rough with her leaving a bruise on her jaw from when he'd forcibly turned her to face him when he kissed her, bruises on her wrists from where he'd held her down, a faint bite mark on her shoulder, not that she'd complained. He'd apologised once they had finished. But she'd brushed him off remembering how exhilarated she had felt when he'd taken control.

The sound of the bed creaking slightly caused her eyes to shoot to her husband behind her. He rolled over and resumed snoring. Taking a deep breath she turned away silently thankful for not having to speak to him.

The first thing her husband had wanted once they had returned from the airport had been sex. She could tell from the way he looked at her in the car as she drove them back to her town house. She'd give him a false smile as he looked at her with anticipation while he indicated towards the bedroom. Sara thought about the anxiety that had filled her when her husband had undone the buttons on her long sleeved shirt. She had used make up to cover up the bruise on her jaw and silently prayed her foundation would stay. She'd attempted to think of false explanations for the bruises on her skin.

But he hadn't noticed.

He not said a word about the marks on her skin that had been left by another man who had enjoyed the same pleasures he had. He had not noticed any difference in his wife as he mindlessly thrusted into her while she kept her eyes shut pretending to be anywhere else other than under his sweating, panting body. He'd finished quickly and the proceeded to roll over and fall asleep, his deep breaths soon turning into snoring.

She'd picked herself up from where he'd discarded her on the other side of the bed after use and slowly walked to the shower room on another floor so he wouldn't hear her scrubbing at her skin until it was red raw in order to dispel of the feelings of worthlessness. When she had returned she'd found it impossible to climb back into bed with a man that had disregarded her when making plans. To return to being beside someone who could not see what was happening to their marriage with every moment of their separation.

Sara wandered to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of red wine. Knowing that the alcohol would not help with the conflicts she was facing. It would cloud her judgement further. But she did not want to think about her marriage in the state of sobriety.

She did not love the man that had been her solace. She was sure of that. But the question arose about her love for her husband. Sara did not know if she loved him any longer. She did not know if could love him any longer. He had become the things that she thought she had escaped from when she'd left her college boyfriend. Their conversations over the phone had become shorter and shorter every night as they struggled to find anything to say to each other. When he was there he would want sex and sleep not attempting to engage her or entertain her like he had done early in their relationship.

As Sara sat in the kitchen she realised she felt used; she felt empty.

The man that had claimed to cherish her had begun treating her less like a companion and more like a forced responsibility. She could tell from the way his voice was strained on the phone at he attempted to sound interested in the book she had been reading restraining himself from saying that he had work to be doing rather than listening to her chit chat. She had understood this from the way he no longer cared whether she had an orgasm or not because he had gotten what he'd needed from her.

Her other lover had focused on her pleasure in a way that she never knew a man would. He would make love to her as if it might be the last time. As Sara thought of herself in the throes of passion guilt made itself known in the pit of her stomach for letting a man other than her husband touch her in the way her diversion did.

She could not justify what they had been doing. She had not attempted to rationalise it.

Draining the last of the wine from the glass she filled it up again, the one glass not enough to suppress the anguish that been running through her blood stream. She took the glass and returned to their bedroom. She sat on the arm chair by the window the glass of wine in her hand as she watched her husband sleep.

Moonlight trickled through the window hitting the white sheets of their bed rumpled around the man's frame. His eyelids fluttering as he dreamt. He looked as peaceful, oblivious as he was to her indiscretions. She felt a mix of things as she watched him: ashamed, guilty, and pathetic.

But soon she realised the thing she felt most when she looked at her husband was anger. Because he could not see that he was the one pushing her into the arms of another man.

He was the reason she no longer believed in love.


	3. Chapter 3

Please review!

**Fading Romance **

Vartann could taste the bittersweet ghost of the red wine lingering in his mouth as he glanced in the mirror straightening out his shirt. He felt good. He'd been waiting for his evening all week. He'd been running through the details in his head all day- it was going to be perfect.

He reread the recipe book he had open on the kitchen counter as he glanced nervously the simmer pots and pans. He had followed the instruction down to a t but still there was the fear that this would all go wrong and the evening he had planned would be ruined. He found that to his surprise the food had turned out well when he took small tastes from the pans. Vartann moved from the kitchen to the living room hoping that his attempt at decorating the rather plane house had worked.

He sat on the sofa where he had not long ago made love to her friend he would glance out of the window at the sound of car engines, and then back to the ticking hands of the clock with anticipation to see her.

She'd said she would be there an hour ago.

He could feel his heart sink and realisation slowly sunk in that she was probably not going to come. Today was supposed to be the night he proved to her that they were good together. And that they would be even better if she would just give him a chance and let him in. It was then that his phone buzzed informing him of a new message that confirmed his original fear. "Sorry- busy won't be able to make it- C" was what the screen read.

Vartann glanced around at his waste efforts. Candles lit the room with a warm glow and filled it with the smell of vanilla, on the dining table a single red rose in a crystal vase, pictures of Roman streets on the walls. The sound of Liszt's Nocturne No. 3 in A Flat Major lingered in the air as he sat silently attempting to figure out how he felt.

This had not been the first time. She had brushed him off on many other occasions with nothing but a text. He could imagine her wherever she was facing the conflict of whether she should call him or not eventually coming to the conclusion that she did not want to hear the hurt in his voice when he lied and told her it was fine. When he pretended that it hadn't been a special evening that he had spent that whole week planning.

Vartann could feel a brand new wave of depression dragging him under. He had been so optimistic about the small amount of progress he had seen in their relationship but there they were back to square one. She didn't want his companionship- she had made that more than clear. The more he tried to unravel her, the more he attempted to figure out what she wanted the less clarity there was.

He thought about the woman he had been using to make him forget her- a woman so different to her. She was dependable. She would always be there- the same bar, the same time, the same drink every time they would let themselves indulge in weakness. He had often wondered why she never turned him away when he would go and find her. But he had never been able to bring himself to ask. They hardly ever spoke- a problem he had recognised in his real relationship. However he recalled the other night however, as she'd dressed herself, she'd started talking to him not meeting his eye out of indignity and guilt.

"_I don't think I love him anymore."_

She had said. The words had sounded emotionless, monotone as if she had detached herself from what she had been saying. As if she didn't want to recognise what she knew. She'd paused for a moment and glanced down at her wedding ring on her left hand and then turned to him with a look of helplessness.

"_I think I love her too much." _

He'd responded placing his problem in the same format as she had. Her dark eyes had lost their usual gleam- she looked exhausted. She turned away from him without a word after a few moments he'd heard the front door slamming shut and the sound of an engine starting up.

He thought of the increasing amount of sorrow in their sex. He thought of how they had both tried to make it last longer just so they could cling on to the escape they had created rather than facing the problems that had plagued their other relationships.

With the feeling of disappointment he picked himself up off the sofa. He blew out the candles and put the music off before heading out of the door- he'd decided that he was not going let his unresponsive girlfriend get to him that night.

The bar pulled him in like arms, the scent of beer wrapping around him like warmth. He sat himself down at the bar calling a bar maid over with the intention of getting drunk that night. As he glanced around the bar something caught his eye. Someone, rather.

She was sitting on a bar stool not far away from him. Her blonde her titled back her laugh echoing throughout the room while a man he did not recognised whispered into her ear. Her low cut dress clung to her curves, her lips covered in a glossy paint.

He could feel all of his emotions bubble up from where they had been dormant- the jealousy, the anger, the hate- as he watched the woman he cared so much for sitting that close to someone else. She was talking to the other man in the same hushed tones she would use with him. Her eyes had the same glint they had when they were together.

As he sat and watched them he wondered how someone he loved so much could hurt him the way she did.


	4. Chapter 4

Let's just say I've had a lot of inspiration for this chapter...

I was thinking for this to be the end...but please review and let me know if you think I should write more...I absolutely adore writing this pairing there is just something special about it.

**Fading Lights **

He was forced to take a deep breath of strangers cigarette smoke as he attempted to make his way into their usual meeting place. His heart felt heavy beating in the middle of his chest. Vartann glanced around at the people that usually drank there and attempted to rationalise his reason he had for being there. But the more that he thought about it the harder it become to explain.

Neither one of them could explain why they had chosen to meet there every time they needed solace. The dark corners of the city had provided the bar with the right type of atmosphere for low key meetings but they had found themselves dragged into the sordid world they had spent so long fighting. It had been the scene of many crimes they had worked but they had decided there was something rather poetic about meeting in a place they had known for the wrong reasons.

As he stepped inside he saw her perched on her usual bar stool, her dark hair falling in her face most likely in attempt to hide the tears that were making their way into her gin and tonic. His heart lurched as he stood watching her. He didn't know what it was, or why it was, but he had recently found himself caring deeply for a woman he claimed meant nothing to him.

This wasn't where she should be. This wasn't how she should be feeling. She should have been at home with her husband. She should be happy with her life. He thought to himself as he approached her. But it was then he realised that neither one of them knew happiness in their relationships. They had both simply learnt to survive with that scraps that fallen in their way.

Vartann took the seat next to her without a word. She turned to him not afraid to let him see the extent to which she was broken. Over their liaisons they had learnt to trust each other with their worst.

The knowledge she had finally verbalised physically hurt her so much she had attempted to numb the feeling with gin. She thought about her husband sitting at home- in his favourite armchair, a book in between his fingers, the fireplace lighting the room with a welcoming glow. She thought of the way he would barely notice her absence too lost in words to notice what he had lost in his life.

Her dark eyes silently pleaded with her companion to take it away, to stop it hurting so much. But he had recently realised he could not.

He thought of the way his girlfriend would most likely be at home enjoying the freedom of an empty house since her daughter had moved out- music on in the background, a glass of red wine in her hand, the knowledge that there was nowhere to be comforting her.

His blue eyes glanced at her with desperation asking her to make it simpler, hoping to stop the number of games he'd been forced to play but she knew that there was no way of doing it.

The fact that they could not chase away the problems the other faced, they both did the only thing they knew. He offered her his hand and she took it with the slightest hesitation knowing exactly where they were heading.

As they walked briskly the short distance to his house she thought about the hopes she had when she was young. She thought about all the things she would have done differently to her mother. She thought of how she'd expected love to be after all of those years of torment. The one thing Sara had never counted on was falling out of love. She had never thought about the anticipation, the sudden nature and the force of realising that she was no longer in love. The thought of her husband only stirred one emotion in her in that moment- and that was guilt.

She felt guilty for breaking a promise she had made him. She felt guilty for the fact she had mislead him. And most of all she felt guilty for the fact she was hurting him without his knowledge.

The man beside her thought of all of the times he had attempted to stop himself from falling in love only to find that it was impossible. He thought of all of the things he loved about the woman that had made it abundantly clear that she did not love him back.

They turned to each other with their eyes clouded with understanding.

He led her to his bedroom as he had done many times before. But for some reason each time felt like the first. Each time was without expectation.

They would undress with the nerves of teenagers about to go past the point of no return. With anxiety that could match her wedding day. The anticipation that could match the first time he realised he was in love.

They would kiss with sadness and the sense of longing that they both shared for something different. She would think of the freedom she could have had. He would think of the routine he wished he could develop.

She would never stay the night. It had become of the things they had silently agreed on- staying the night would be wrong. It would give their sex a meaning that it did not have. It could lead to blurred boundaries which neither could deal with.

But as they glanced into each other's eyes that night neither one of them found themselves able to let go. The pain had gotten the better of them. There was only one word on his lips as he glanced across at her dark eyes.

"Stay."


	5. Chapter 5

So sorry for the very slow update- life has most certainly gotten to me.

**Fading False **

He woke with a thought that the previous night had been a dream but the feeling of her head resting on his chest, the sound of her steady breathing and the lingering smell of her perfume told him different. A part of him couldn't believe that she'd stayed- that they had spent the night wrapped up in each other's arms as if there had not been a thing wrong with it.

Something else he couldn't believe had happened- without giving it a second thought he had wrapped his arms tighter around her.

He pulled her closer with a longing that anyone who loved had; the need to protect, to keep her somewhere she wouldn't be hurt- in his arms.

But he didn't love her, he told himself, this was something else, this was something different.

There was something melancholy about the time they spent together and this situation was no different. They were together but not really. Deep down they both knew that their togetherness was an act of sin- one of adultery.

The morning light dulled by clouds slowly filtered through the window into his bedroom as a reminder of what they had done and of the consequences of that one decision.

They had broken all of the rules they had made. They had crossed every single one of the lines they had put in the way of their downfalls. They were having an affair. They were no longer just attempting to forget. They had something very real- something very destructive.

That one night had changed everything.

She lifted her head her dark eyes meeting his causing a shiver to swim down his spine. He gently moved a strand of hair out of her face looking at her with the painful knowledge that what they had could never last. He planted a kiss on her forehead in a small token in the hope that things would be alright, in the hope that his presence was enough to comfort her.

The sound of the loud knocking at the front door stopped them in their tracks.

"Stay here." He whispered as he rolled out from beneath her. He cast a nervous glance in her direction as he made it to the bedroom door. Reality had caught up with them. No matter how comforted they felt in each other's company- it was wrong.

His heart jumped into his throat as he approached his front door, through the opaque glass the familiar outline of his girlfriend became clearer- her blonde hair like a light through the greyness, the outline of her hands on her hips as she waited with impatience.

He opened the door attempting to change his expression in the process. Blue eyes looked up at him with warmth he had missed so many times before.

"Hello, you." Catherine said in a husky low voice, a seductive smile lighting up her whole face.

"Catherine." Vartann responded, even though he had attempted to sound casual his voice couldn't mask his anxiety.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. His silence answered her question. And it was an answer she did not want to hear.

"Sorry...now...isn't a good time." he slowly attempted to explain. She looked at him with a mixture of hurt and confusion.

"Is there someone in there with you?" She asked her minding taking her to the worst possible place within seconds. He glanced at her with caution not knowing how to respond to her accusation.

It was true. A woman was waiting nervously for his return. A woman that was her friend. A woman that was married. A woman he had spent the night with.

"No. Why would think that?" the lies tumbled out of his mouth before he had a chance to think them over.

"Because you're not letting me in and you're wearing next to no clothes this late in the morning." Catherine explained.

"I'm just feeling a bit under the weather. I've been sleeping." he attempted to act casual. But he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising and the sound of his heart beat increasing.

She couldn't find out. Not like this.

"Who is _she_?" The woman before him asked sternly.

"Who was the guy you were with last night?" He asked his expression suddenly hardening. She looked at him her mouth slightly open. Vartann could feel the regret slowly fill up his body as he realised what he had done. But there was no going back now. There was no undoing what had been done. No way to retract what he had said.

"Fine." She raised her hands in defeat and began backing away slowly. "I'll see you at work."

He stood watching her helplessly not knowing what to do or how to act. The woman he had spent so long wanting was walking away from him with a look that he couldn't read. They had taken so long to get anywhere- to move forward but all he could do now was watch as it all slowly slipped away.

As he walked back into his bedroom guilt overwhelmed him. The smell of his lovers perfume and their sex filled the air like the clouds filled the sky that day. She sat at the end of his bed fully dressed her eyes flooded with despair and tears as she looked up at him.

_She was so beautiful. She was so broken_.

He thought with a sense of pain that only he could understand.

"What are we doing?" she asked her voice cracking after so many tantalising hours of being silent.

He responded with silence. It was everything she had needed to hear.

She left him an hour later with nothing but a glance to say goodbye. He'd gotten used to the fact they never spoke when they parted. Words were too risky. He knew that. He knew that all it would take was a sentence for them to be back in the compromising positions they had been in only a few hours ago.

So he kept quiet watching from the window as her car disappeared down the road.

He realised something as he watched her. Something he had tried so hard to push out of him mind.

It was something that he didn't want to acknowledge.

It was most certainly not something he could admit.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews and those of you that are still reading! Keep letting me know what you think!

Sorry this is so short and it took so long to post!

**Fading Resolution **

She drove listening to the radio, the incessant talking in the background a distraction from her own conflicts and problems.

Everything seemed to be falling apart. Dissolution was casting shadows over her life.

Her mind was attempting to resolve something her heart wouldn't let go of but the more her thoughts dwelt on the hours that had passed her and what was about to come anxiety was the only thing she felt. A part of her wanted to turn the car around and escape back into the arms of someone who knew, someone who understood the decisions she faced.

But it would be wrong.

She then realised that she shouldn't have started this because she realised now that she didn't know how to make it stop. Attempting to not think about him plagued her. When her husband's fingertips traced patterns on her skin she would think of him. When she smelt whiskey she would think of the drinks they had shared together. Seeing him at work brought to life all of the nights they had spent together.

Sara thought of all the people she was hurting. The fall out of what they had done was bound to destroy everything that they had worked to create.

For what?

What would they have if they came clean, if they admitted everything they were feeling? Was if they confessed everything that they had felt?

They would never have their happy ending. People like them never got that. They didn't deserve it- she had decided.

She thought of the look of despair in her husband's eyes, the lingering betrayal that her friend would send her way if they were ever to find out what she had done. That was not worth the risk. That was not worth the destruction.

Her breath caught her chest she stopped her car in the drive way of her home.

This was it. It was time to composure back. It was time to pretend that there was nothing wrong with the life she was living. It was time to pretend she was still in love with her husband even though it had been so long that she'd lost sight of what love really was. The thrill, the excitement and anticipation had given way to a routine that was slowly draining the life from her. She could see them in ten years time, playing the same roles. But after that long; she didn't feel it anymore- the disappointment, the pain of enduring. She didn't feel anything.

The front door opened and her husband appeared in his dressing gown to pick up the news paper. He caught her eye a warm smile spreading across his features, she smiled back with every ounce of energy she had. As she climbed out of her car she could feel her hands shake as her whole body felt like it were made of paper. The nerves were just reinforcing her guilt.

"You work too hard." Her husband smiled encircling her wrist pulling her towards him. The warmth of his arms surrounded her but she still felt ice cold as she attempted not to shiver at his touch.

She simply smiled at him hoping he wouldn't notice the smell of her lover's cologne. Or see the guilt in her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Fading Trust**

Catherine Willows knew that there was something wrong. She could just tell. It was one of the things that had made her a good CSI but as she sat in the dark locker room, she soon realised it had done nothing for her love life. She thought through her last encounter with her boyfriend, attempting to recall every detail of his behaviour, from the sound of his voice to the glint in his eye. There was bound to be something in that last conversation that would give her the answers she needed.

Sara slowly made her way through the door not knowing how to respond to her co-worker who sat with her hands clasped on her lap, her eyes staring off into the distance. She attempted not to think about the man they had clandestinely been sharing for so long. With quiet steps she made her way to her locker as she slipped her bag off her shoulder.

"How did you and Grissom do it?" A voice came from the statue sitting on the bench near her. The voice didn't sound like Catherine's; it was much too soft, it sounded much too lost to be hers. Sara turned around, the mention of her husband's name sending chills through her body along with the waves of guilt she could stop from lapping up against her conscience.

"Do what?" she asked attempting to appear casual as she placed her jacket on a hanger.

"Make it this far, stay together for so long, get married?" Catherine responded with a question, her gaze finally turned to the woman she was speaking too.

"I don't know...I guess...when you love someone, you do whatever you can to make it work, to keep it going?" She spoke, secretly hoping her voice didn't sound as hollow and empty as she felt, that her declarations of love sounded real. Catherine gave her a look that told her, that was not what she wanted to hear.

"Look..." Sara sat herself down next to her friend. "We got this far by being patient; I waited what five, six years for him to finally figure out how he felt. He waited for me to come back, to sort myself out. We got this far because we learnt to ignore the small things we hate about each other because there are things that we love. We got this far, because we wanted to."

"I want to Sara, I really do." Catherine said still not sounding at all like her usual self. She looked vulnerable; broken almost. Sara's breath caught in her chest like the deceit had caught in her throat.

"Vartann and I...I don't know what's happening...I've been pushing him away for so long...But...I never thought...that it would hurt this much..." What Catherine was saying was almost cryptic however Sara knew the whole story even if she had to pretend she didn't. She knew how hurt her friend was.

The woman she had spent so many years working beside turned to her with a desperate look and tears welling up in her eyes. It felt like a knife to her chest as she watched knowing that she was the person responsible for her pain, knowing that she could make it stop by simply being honest and letting go of something that should never have happened or continued.

"The other day it went to his place...he wouldn't let me in...he said he was sick and was attempting to sleep it off...but I knew...I knew that there was someone there with him..." Catherine glanced at the ceiling not wanting her friend to see the tears that were now making their way down her cheek. "And who can blame him? All of this time...I've been telling him that we should just keep things physical...I knew he wanted more...but I acted as if he would settle for second best...It's my fault Sara...I pushed him away too much and now...now I might lose him..."

Catherine spoke with the self depreciation that Sara had become increasingly familiar with over the past few months. A part of her just wanted to tell her friend that it wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault that they had been sleeping together. That it wasn't anyone's fault but their own for letting something get the better of them. But she knew she couldn't say. She knew that by letting their secret out into the open they would be hurting the people they claimed to love that much more.

"Catherine...I'm sure that's not the case...Vartann adores you, anyone can see it in the way he looks at you...he probably was just sick...You need to trust him, and trust yourself...if you want this...you need to tell him...tell him exactly how you feel." She spoke softly giving advice as if she had no personal investment in the way things panned out between Catherine and Vartann.

As much as she attempted to stop it, her heart sunk at the thought of not having those moments between them to share and treasure- The moments that had reminded her that she was still alive, the ones that made her marriage bearable. He had become her dirty little secret. Something that she didn't want to let go off.

"You're right..." Catherine smiled. "I'm probably just making things worse in my head..."

Sara gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed Catherine's shoulder with the same hand she had used to undo Vartann's shirt, the same hand that had explored his body more times that she could count.

"Do you love him?" The words tumbled out of Sara's mouth before she could take them back. Catherine glanced at her with a slightly puzzled look as she attempted to figure out the answer to her friend's question.

The response caused Sara's heart to skip a beat. That was it. The betrayal she had spent the past few months living had become something very real, something that she could not just push to the corner of her mind. It had finally been acknowledged that she was breaking someone's heart not only betraying them.

"Yes...I think I do."


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for your reviews, I love hearing what you guys think, I've planned this to be my last chapter, but let me know if you see this going any further and think I should write a sequel or add a chapter or two.

**Fading**

Their eyes met across the layout table, sharing pain that neither one of them seemed to be able to shake. They read each other's minds- they needed to talk- they needed to fix everything they had done.

He took a step towards her once everyone else had poured out of the room to get to work. Her breath caught in her chest and a lump built up in her throat as he looked down at her with his clear blue eyes.

"We can't do this anymore." She muttered, physical pain had made itself known in her chest but she attempted to brush it aside as her mind focused on the situation at hand.

"I know." was all he said in response, his eyes focused on the ground between them.

They had both known that this day would come. They had both realised that they could no longer count on each other for the type of healing they were seeking. It was time to stop hurting the people they claimed to love.

It was time to do the right thing no matter how wrong it felt.

The sound of music being drowned out by the sound of bodies filled her ears as she attempted to focus on the drink in front of her rather than the people around her. She needed to think. She needed to clear her head. And as she sat there she realised she had most certainly picked the wrong place for those things. It was finally the feeling of someone gently touching her shoulder that got her attention.

She glanced up at him her eyes glazed over with a sense of despair.

They silently made their way back to his house like they had always done but this time meant something more, this time was far more important than any of their previous encounters.

This was to be the last time.

They had both come to a silent decision; it was time to stop trying to escape but to try and work things out with the people that had been their lives for so long. Sara had realised that she couldn't keep hurting her husband. She realised that even if it felt like she didn't love him anymore at some stage she had done very much. She'd loved him enough to follow him back to Vegas, to spend years lingering in the shadows in hope for his attention. Vartann recognised the progress that he had made in his previously unfulfilling relationship. He had finally gotten what he had been craving for so long from the woman that meant everything to him.

They had seen too many times the consequences of betrayal bubbling to the surface in their line of work. And it had become apparent that neither one of them was willing to risk the lives they had built for what had been impulsive.

But as they glanced into each other's eyes standing at the foot of his bed, the only sound surrounding them was that of their breathing and the sound of rain drops colliding with the glass of the window. Rain in Las Vegas. The weather had most certainly gotten their mood right.

"_One last time." He muttered. _

"_One last time." She repeated. _

He took a step forward and closed the space between them by gently planting a kiss on her lips. She responded with slight resistance, her hands shaking as they wrapped around his neck. He gently pushed her onto the bed laying her down in a position he had become familiar with her in. The heat between them grew with heart wrenching consistency- it eventually led them to shed their clothes and commit the deed that they both knew that they were there for.

The hot set of tears that rolled down Sara's cheek glinted in the moon light that flooded through the window as she lay beside him staring at the ceiling. He reached out a hand wiping the tears away pulling her into his arms, their bare skin touching as if there were nothing wrong with this. Her head dipped into the curve of his neck taking in his scent in hopes of memorising it.

They lay together not sleeping knowing that this would probably be the last time they would be in each other's arms- that this would be the last one of the trysts.

The sun rose over Las Vegas, starting another day. They pried themselves apart in silence and dressed with the same back drop.

He stood with his hands tucked into the pocket of his slacks as she turned to give him one last broken look. She looked beautiful, he thought as he noticed the smudged make up, the raw lips and rumpled clothes. Without giving it a second thought he kissed her. Her back collided with the side of her car as he let out the last ounce of passion into what would be there very last kiss.

Rain fell from the sky gold in the morning sunlight attempting to wash away the sin they had soaked themselves in.

The water cleansed them ready to start again.

**The End**


End file.
